Having mass conver with people now:)

Today's the last day of school! Gonna miss the 3 of them! And we saw a poster today titled"effects of stress" and there were 4 of them. Each of them really represents each of us! Huishi and cheryl's ones are the funniest! Shall wait for cheryl to post the picture. haha. And im sure they're gonna miss my "HAI-ings" Haha. Went down to TP after school and i felt like an alien there. But i had a great time with a bunch of great people. Though was just a casual lunch, i love this kind of company. Accompanied jasmine to polyclinic and waited for a looong time. haha. talked about qualities of husband again. and yes, my "tip-toe and kiss" thing shall come true:) hahaha. jasmine must be laughing when she reads this. haha. and had dinner with family before a long and tiring tuition. i must say, i love my parents. my mom was asking what im so frustrated about recently. She really cares for me:) And, shes coming for parenting workshop tmr! i told her, i will tell her after the workshop. So she will be able to help me better and not nag at me. HAHA.

Alright alright, study. i know. but i want to proclaim here: i love my life! though i may be sad, disappointed, tired, frustrated, irritated, stress and many more negative feelings you can think about, im still loving my life. i have only one life to live. how i choose to live it lies in my hands. i want to make my life a significant one. And i thank God for friends who care. for zhenghui who calls me when i wasnt feeling good, for jasmine who keeps speaking life to me, for cheryl jiamin huishi for always making me laugh in school, for zhilin who says she'll pray for my future husband(-.-), for weiyin who always shares good news with me and everyone, especially d5, who's always there to make me happy:) And most importantly, i thank God for jieru who always sow into our lives, teaching us to be better leaders and to love others. and i thank God for pastors and heart of God church:) im really sad i cant make it for pastoral meetng:( but im excited for the follow ups with pastor lia! There's so much more i can learn. I want to receive more. And i want to keep loving people and loving life. God has been faithful. I see light in the darkness. When im weak, He is strong. His grace is sufficient for me:) It has been a terrible week. Jiamin says, it takes 3 weeks to break a habit. I will die. this 3 weeks is crucial for me!!! how can i waste 3 weeks. haha. but, with God's power, i shall break it in 3 more days. I ll be a happier person then ! :)

When im weak, You are strong
You're my feet when i cant move on
You are the light in the dark
You're the whisper inside my heart

guess what! i napped for four hours just now! Jieru was saying it wasnt a nap at all. haha.But i didnt mean to. i only lied on my parents' huge comfy bed and before i knew it, i was in lala land and did not come back to reality. haha. how i wish i can stay there longer. haha. but my tutorials and studies were haunting me even in lala land D: and when i woke, the sky was dark and it was 9. how horrible is that. no wonder, im so awake now:)

school is great. laughed alot in school to de-stress:) its good to have friends who are stress too cos we can de-stress together:D
melvin showed me this song ytd and i think the lyrics is really meaningful. the climb by miley cyrus.

I can almost see it
That dream I'm dreaming but
There's a voice inside my head sayin,
You'll never reach it,

Every step I'm taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing,
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes they knock me down but
No I'm not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going
And I,
I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on, cause

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm going to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It's all about
It's all about
The climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith

I was just praying in the afternoon. Im beginning to dislike what i'm feeling and thinking nowadays. The thoughts that always pull me down everytiime i try to focus on my studies. I prayed that He'll cast them all away. And, it came to me. That noone and nothing can make us sad or disappointed without our consent, or rather, God's consent. Many times, its our emotions that led us to feel all the bad and negative feelings and sadly, most people gave consent to these emotions by allowiing them to control us. Its such a horrible thing to let emotions rule over the way we live our life. Its scary. But, God's will is not for us to feel that way. He wants us to live each day, having the joy of the Lord in us and more than that, spreading this joy to the people around us. yeah, i ll rely and depend only on Him. I ll get over it and move every mountain in my life. i live to glorify Him.

On a random note, i was talking to weiyin about dream husband. Haha. And shipei is the funniest. i remember her telling me her criteria for her husband - good looking, buy rose for her blahblah. and best, averagely rich. HAHA. how do you even gauge how rich one guy is? seriously.. haha. and weiyin also wants someone a little rich. haha. so realistic. yeah if i can dream, i ll dream for a rich rich man:) but in reality, averagely rich sounds good:) everyone says i have high expectations. but then again, all i pray for is someone who will love me for who i am, williing to do anything to make me happy and will never never never never never hurt me or make me sad. a fairytale story with a happy ending :) hahaha :x every girl is a guy's missing rib. cool huh. so dont worry of not getting a life partner! hahaha!

its 1 am... sleep or study? hmm.

Had hq after school and it was a long hq. But it was great. Truly, every impression slip is a piece of destiny. haha. The tpjc group is growing and all the leaders have a good feel about this red rain harvest. It might not be a big group of new friends but its going to be more focused:) One life at a time:) I'm really excited! There're so many people i want to meet. I know im going to expand in capacity during this period of time!

School is still horrible but with the crazy but fun bunch of people in school, im beginning to 'like' school more:) haha. Thanks jm for making me laugh with huishi's story after seeing me so sad and stress. hahaha! Im laughing to myself now as im thinking of that story. hahaha! oh man. haha. my birthday is coming and im going to be 18! i just got a revelation today that promises can never last because people have no control of what's going to happen next. Whats the point of making a promise and then break it, causing hurt on people. There's no such thing as forever, only eternity in the kingdom of God. Only God's promises can be trusted cos He is a faithful God. Honestly, im feeling so emotionally led nowadays and just stressing myself over A's. Furthermore, the hot and humid weather is driving me mad. I'm really afraid that i wont be able to make it to uni. Just had a quarrel with my mom over that last night. I'm really afraid and there's so much fear in me you'll never guess how much there is. haha. everyday in school, people are just mentioning abbout A's and how much they've been studying. I really need more encouragements and faith. I made a decision to not be emotionally led but be spirit-led. I will not lose to the devil! WILL NOT!

Life is going to be great and greater:) This is how i choose to live my life.
Let Your harvest in:)

more confirmed new friends!:D weiyin, you're powerful lah!:) im really excited for RR!:D lives are going to be changed for His glory:) Prayer meeting today was great:D And my bro sent me to church today!:D and he even gave zhenghui a lift:) i have a cool brother:D thanks brother!:D

i cant wait for RR. Although i know i will not have tiime to study or even complete my homework, im still looking forward to this weekend and even hq:) its gonna be great! breakthrough 1000!:D

Many things happened recently, in cg and in my life especially in the area of studies. Not really good things. But ive learnt to look on the positive side. Thanks zhenghui for being so truthful to me and being such a good friend:) i know i can trust you:) and i really thank God for the people i hang out with in school:) I found myself laughing more in school nowadays. Must be jiamin's nonsense. But i also found myself sighing more each day. HAHA. My heart is alaways so heavy. Sighing kinds of makes me feel better. HAI. But yeah, just a little more to the end of A's:) no more emo songs kay peijun:)

Zhenghui just told me that im overage for cinderella. haha. true true. but still, i shall be a modern day cinderella:D heehee. But, my mom keeps complaining that im not doing houseworks and cant cook D: maybe, i'll be snow white instead :) haha.

God is really faithful and His promises never fail :) Ive seen Him working in so many lives and i'm glad that i have the privilege to be able to serve Him.

my eye is hurting D: NOOO. it cant hurt that badly :( why! what happened to my big round eyes D: i guess i have to sleep earlier:)

its gonna rain RED tomorrow:) bring your brolly out, okay?:D

Its 21st may! Time passes fast and thats scary. Half a year has gone. Soon, i will find myself sitting in the examination hall taking A's. D:

My bro almost drove me to school today but he was slow! So i took cheryl's van instead. haha. Wasn't feeling good during china studies and jm noticed. haha. i told them i need a lot a lot of ice cream. haha! And we almost went to eat ice cream but we changed our mind after that. But, we went out and even huishi, the one who always goes home after school came for lunch with us. And they said it was for my sake. Haha. But, thanks girls:) We had a great time together:) I felt much better. And, thanks jasmine for accompanying me after that and for the honey lemon though i didnt really tell you anything. It was so unexpected! Haha. i was really touched:) and it really made me smiled:)

Went for cafe in church. and God did not answer zhenghui's and my prayers! Haha! But, im sure He has his reason. haha. Thanks zh anyway:) It was quite funny though. Was so tired that i decided to take cab home and gave ivy a lift. I didnt eat dinner and im feeling hungry right now:( But i brushed my teeth. So i shall only eat spiritual food for now. haha. I love spendiing time with God and i want to have the desire to draw closer to Him everyday, and understand His heart. Im rreally excited for Redrain!:) Sabrina is bringing a friend! She's a really funny person. And jasmine is bringiing her classmate. Im excited! Because that would mean that we ll have 6 tpjcian comiing on sunday including jessica:D And, weiyin is always having so much faith! I love faith:) It makes me a happy person because i know that all things is possible with God. And today i ll decide to be a happy person, not for my sake but because being happy can make others happy too:) people say i have a friendly and happy face. haha. i shall start smiling more:) because i know my God is a happy God.

Some photos taken yesterday during sports day. And really have to thank bryan for driving us to airport and even sending some of us back home:)

You girls are the reason why school is bearable:) haha.

today was a great day:)

School was mundane. I really hate school ever since past few weeks. But what can i do right. haha. I just have to endure a little more.. just a little further:)

After school, met up with jessica and jasmine for lunch. Its been a long time since we last went out together. And they accompanied me to lavendar to collect my passport. There was like 200 people in between my queue. So we went to walk around before jasmine left for her appointment. something happened when jessica and me went to look for sweets. An indian man accused me of calling tiko when i was telling jessica "lets go" LOL. I was -.- And he was really fierce.. Ask me if you want to hear the whole story. He's just totally annoying but i told myself iim not going to let him spoil my mood. Its just too ridiculous. Had a good time spent with jessica though. Hearing her talk about how she can't wait for the day when she can serve God in church. She's really someone who has dreams and visions of doing great things for God. It will come to pass:)

Met jasmine at tampines inter again and in the beginning, we did not plan to walk around tamp one but i wanted to go to chamelon to get accessories. In the end, we spent 3hrs in tamp one! Met my brother there and he successfully gave me a shock. Really saw alot people in tamp one like my neighbour and yishuen. haha. And jasmine kept seeing her sec sch friends. Yeah. We went to the disney shop and aunty jasmine just couldnt stop telling me what she's gonna buy for her kids in the future. How could you plan for what to buy for your kid when you haven thought of who to marry, jasmiine! HAHA. i shall help you keep a lookout:) haha. And she just cant help but keep dropping hints of what she wants from me when she has a new house in the future. Haiyo... But it was fun hanging out with you woman after such a long time! :D Thank you!:) Sushi was nice too:) We're gonna explore tamp 1 shop by shop one day kay:)

The heart of God is for the lost. Yeah. I thank God that im in heart of God church. Ironically, christians are not the nicest people on earth. I've seen many christians who behave worse than non-christians. Christians who judge people, mock at people's weakness, putting people down just so they can look good. I see them everyday in school, outside. It breaks my heart to see people putting down people. Honestly, I despise those people who put down the weak. Why can't we just be secured? Jesus never never puts down the weak. Instead, He lifts up the weak, He makes the weak strong in His strength. Truly, like what pastor preached, its not about being a christian, but being Christ-like. The heart of God is for the unsaved souls, the lost sheeps. We should not just stay within the four walls of church, but to build a church without walls:) We should not stay in our comfort zone, but start to step out, and reach to the people in the world. This inspires me again and again. Somehow, I always think that most of my friends are already christians and that became an excuse for me to lose the passion to evangelise. but, God says, lift up your eyes and look at the harvest. The harvest is truly plentiful. Yes, the harvest is truly plentiful but the laboureres are few. I say, "God, use me and take me so Your harvest can come." I've seen how weiyin has been loving and reaching out to her friends. I see the burden she has for her friends. I understand the heart of God and I pray for a heart of compassion in me, to love the unlovables. I know i will see all these broken souls when i start to open up my eyes to the things unseen, open my spiritual eyes.

Are you going to be the someone who is going to divide, subtract, add or multiply values to others?

Create in me a new heart
One that follows You

Place Your heart inside my soul
A heart that's ever true,
One that's after You.

Mother's day event was just great. Seeing many mothers coming to church and being touched by the numerous videos shown, my heart just melted. And my mom came on sat:) Although she did not say anything, im sure she has been touched by the testimony and videos and of cos, by His presence. I'm still praying for the day to come when we can worship God together in His house. The performance was quite scary though i dont know why. But chekyeow said many parents liked our performance:) yay:)

I bought a flower for my mom ytd before going to aunt's house. We had a gathering over there and had much fun and craziness with my cousins:) I cant wait to hang out together again. There's always so much fun. The little kids, our nephews and nieces are cute too although there was this mischievious kid who keeps bullying his sister and even us! TSK. he hit my head and when my cousin "orhor" him, he started crying-.- Haha. But well, they brought a smile on my face:)

Went to ikea today to study with zhilin and venus. I like the food there:) Didnt study much this weekend and doing last min work right now. I hate what im feeling now. Im having so many thoughts in my head and so much distractions:( Maths test on thursday and i still dont understand a thing about normal and sampling distribution. Im going crazy soon and i dont like this feeling of sian-ness. But, if love is a decision and not feeling, then happiness should be a decision too and not just a feeling. It becomes a revelation to me a few mins ago:) Yes, i shall make a decision to be happy instead of being controlled by my emotions.

I know there's so much more i can do with His strength and power. I just need to lift up my eyes and focus on Him. FOCUS peijun, FOCUS!

i learnt a new word today:) solipsistic its not a good word to use on people. haha.

Holy Spirit come in power, change my heart
I want to live for You my God
Let Your spirit come in power, change my life
That i may live for You my Lord

So i look to You, long to see You move
Lord i lift my hands before my King and pray

24 prayer meeting was just powerful:) I was anticipating for it since the beginning of the week. I knew it was going to be great and it was:) Everyone was just praying fervently. I was really touched to see weiyin and shipei praying so strongly for their friends. By their prayers, i can see the burdens they are carrying to see their friends save. It just moved me and inspires me. We'll never be satisfied but will keep praying and praying:) I can't wait for the next 24 pm and i promise i will stay over in church the next time! haha. My dad is getting paranoid due to the swine flu. I dont seem to get well ever siince the previous time i fell ill. I dont want to be a target of swine flu! :( I think i am getting paranoid too. Well. Lets practice social responsibility and everything will be well!:)

We went to send carlo off in the morning. Just when he was going into the departure gate, we started crying. Nic was the worse.. :( well.. its kind of sad but life goes on:) haha its not like he is going to fight in a war... HAHA. But, it just struck me at that moment that it still feels better to cry with your friends than alone. I wanted to laugh when i see them cry but also wanted to cry aat the same time. Its just me to cry when i see people cry.

My brother just pranked me that he used my thermometer to measure his temperature :S

Bye carlo miguel saavedra. Thanks for all the nonsense and jokes although you're irritating too. haha. See you in 3 years time:)