one of my fav korean actors, kwon sang woo, just got hitched:( haha.

my head hurts now. must be the terrible weather. few hoours ago, it was so warm. after that, it began to rain heavily!:( it started raining during pw lesson. pw is horrible. we have to change our idea:(:(:(:( say goodbye to my A:( but well, we had a great time during pw lesson lookng at our school forum. HAHAAHA. all the nonsense. its super dumb and we had a good laugh at all the posts. mr ng is super mean! because they were using my account to read so he suggested using my account and post some stupid stuffs on the forum. what a good teacher i have.

i still do not have the mood to study. i cant wait for weekends to come! oh i cant wait for the outiing on wed! we're gonna go botanic garden:D hahaha. its gonna be a great outing! yay. ball, frisbee, photoshoot, sun, flower, food. even if it rains, we'll still have a great time in minds cafe. haha:D

sometimes its just so hard to love people but we are all created in the image of God. God loves us the same and never chooses who to love more. the sermon on love undeservedly just comes back to me. i ll continue praying and i know this weekend's gonna be a great one. i pray that God, You'll change her from the inside out.

a thousand times i've failed, still Your mercy remains.
should i stumble again, still i'm caught in Your grace
everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fade
never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame.

/edit : i went to watch last few mins of stairway to heaven and its so sad. totally affected my mood:( haha. but i dontneed tissues cos im strong!:D

eating apple now..

F1 race just ended. i didnt really catch it though its on the 3 big screens in church. haha. maybe its just not me to watch this kind of race. i dont get as excited as others do. but i think its really cool to have a night race in singapore. i totally love hanging out in church. many people stayed back to watch the race these 2 nights. the feeling is just indefinable. haha. its not something that can be defined or described. the feeling of having one big family you can hang out with and the feeling of having a church you can call it your home. i really want others to experience what i've experienced and am experiencing. like what peifen said, i really treasure the relationships i have in church(: i want to bring more people into this wonderful placce and let them experience the love in the house of God.

woke up at 6plus today! its amazing how i could wake up so early. thanks nicholas for the morning call and because of his morning call, i managed to morning call qq and zh. so nic! you not only woke up one person but 3 people:D hahaha. met qq and rushed to church for customer ops meeting. the whole meeting was just mind-blowing and everyone was just blown away by all the great ideas that jianming had mentioned. im looking forward to 14thoct!:D customer ops team is going to rise up to a whole new level and bringing friends to hang out in church is going to be so much more fun and easier. i love hoGc because there're always full of surprises:D usher today was great too. i stationed at the white gate and yes, its really really hot. stood under the sun for a long time and the wind just kept blowing at me. but i love to greet people especially unfamiliar faces. standing at the white gate must be one of the most impt task because im the first person that people will see when they walk in. i have the honour of giving them the first impression of our church. haha! and i love to see the smiles of people's faces. it just puts joy in my heart to see people responding to your greeting(: yes! its a great joy to be serving in the house of God. i want to serve Him for all eternity!

school starts tmr and there's only one word to describe it - SIAN. hai. i cant stop sighing. haha. yes love school undeservedly. i ll try my best to enjoy my days in school. all the best to me:D and i feel so dumb:( im having a sunburn after ushering at the white gate. hahaha! who ever gets a sunburn after usher duty! LOL. okay. im really tired now. slept only for4 hrs last night:( goodnight people!

even when the mountain trembles and a thousand falls,
i will stand with You, my Jesus take my all.

yay! thanks CHERYL CHERN for the blogskin! im so lazy to do one myself:D

today's morning prayer meet was good. was just talking to jasmine about the prayer group in our school and we just thank God for all the wonderful people in it especially daryl and althea. all of the people just come faithfully EARLY every morning to worship and pray. the atmosphere might be different from that in church but it definitely refreshes us every morning(: i have been feeling so guilty about always being late and letting people morning call me. be blameless peijun!

i realised i have many hi-bye friends in school. haha. yes just say HI and BYE. have been walking around school during breaks with huishi these few days. school might be boring but thank God for friends whom i can talk to during break. somehow, we just always have things to talk about. from our childhood to our brothers/sisters to our sec school to our ugliest moment. right? haha. pw is terribleD: my group mates and i nearly died last night. mr ng sent us a very not-nice-to-read sms. haii.. tsk. its horrible. but i still think my group is the best group among the rest in the class. that is if we dont look at efficiency and quality of work. which makes it like the worst group in class. whatever. it is the process that we should enjoy.

CG was awesome. we just worshipped God and prayed. this could carry on forever:D i love His presence and i treasure every second spent in His presence. i want more of Him. jessica joined us today!:D 3 tpjcian in our cg today! hahaha. its such a beautiful picture. we should have taken that down. yes! more will come!!! MORE!:D

thank God for my results! all glory goes to Him. i was quite amazed at my econs and history results. especially econs! i thought i would fail badly but instead, i did better than mid year! praise the Lord! He sees my hard works and is always faithful.

Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

my dreams and my desires, i lay them at Your feet.

contented but never satisfied. this is something i've learnt from dom during discipleship class. contented is to be pleased with your situation, your position. To content is to give enough to keep one from being disposed to find fault or complain. However, satisfaction is different. satisfaction puts us at a risk of not moving forward because it puts an end to a desire, want or need because of sufficient provision. im contented with my position in Christ, being a child of God but im not satisfied and i know i want more of Him, more of His presence in my life. im contented with my life, having many things that not others can have but im not satisfied and i want to keep working hard for my future. im contented with my family and with my friends but i not satisfied. i know i can be a better daughter/sister/friend and build better characters. im contented with my maths results but im not satisfied because i know there's still rooms for improvement. but. im really not contented with my gp results. yes. the whole world knows i failed my gp. i got 13.5 marks for my paper 2. my first four short ans get 0 0 0 and 0. its horrible. yes, i was not feeling good that day, i was tired, i dozed off halfway through the paper, i thought the paper was 1hr 45mins. all these are just excuses that i can use to console myself. but i know that i have not put in my best. im soooo disappointed and just cant get over it! its really lousy! really. haii..

today was a very unfruitful day. i didnt learn much during tutorials and lectures. i kept thinking of my results and was really afraid of my econs. i know i wont do well. tmr is gonna be a bad bad day:( well.. at least huishi and me had some talk during the long break. talk about many many stuffs and many thoughts have been running through my mind. haha. school has been rather boring now because we have nothing to do during break unlike in the past when we would rush our works. i totally wasted the 2 hrs of pw in com room. thank God for jingfen and nicholas who accompanied me till 230 online. haha. so nice of them. but i had no privacy at all lah!D:

i hope tmr never comes because i really donwan to know my results. many people keep telling me i wont retain but thats what makes it even more scary. the thought of wasting another year in jc is terrible. i can just pray and surrender all to God because i am in no control of my results anymore. He is in control.

Philippians 4:11
Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content

1 Timothy 6:6
Now godliness with contentment is great gain.

Be contented with what you have and who you are:D







after promos:D

life has been great after promos. so many good things have been happening and im looking forward for even more exciting things that are going to happen! f1 race screening in church next week! its gonna be awesome! God has already dropped names into my heart and im so gonna grab this oppurtunity to bring more souls to church! i love heart of God church. we are always so creative, coming out with new ideas, new events to evangelise. 1400! its coming! thursday to sunday have been fruitful. cg on thurs, meeting and went for prayer on friday, service ytd, discipleship class and service today. i felt a breakthrough in my prayer life because of the prayer meetings i went on friday, sat and sunday! it was awesome. how i wish there's no school tomorrow. i hate to go back to my school life again:( the feeling is horrible. but well, i've found my purpose in going to school! a revival is coming!:D

going to watch ming zhong zhu ding wo ai ni with my mom now. still praying for my bro:D

yesyes. i blogged twice today. was planning to pon school today and i did pon but even if i didnt have the idea of ponning. i wouldnt have gone to school because of sth that happened and woke me up at 6 plus. if i had planned to go school, i would still be sleeping. im so deprived of sleep now. being a responsible girl, i msged mr ng and let him know that i actually wanted to pon but sth really happened so couldnt go. and he replied okay and that he will bring me to see principal on monday with a smiley face(: whalao. hai. its not a good day after all until i go to church. had an exciting meeting with jieru! hahaha. we planned lots of things and im so so looking forward to them. yeah. more than just all the excitements and fun, its all about bring the new friends closer to us, church and God. there're so much to look forward to:D

and being a nice friend, i actually accompanied some of them to mug for their promos and even helped val and zhenghui with maths! one nyjc one tj. and im just a tpjcian-.- okay. stress is the word to describe zhenghui. she got emo and crazy. and i managed to make her laugh. i know im such a nice friend(: haha. i know how you feel la. i've been through it(: at least i wish i was taking promos at the same time as them. but thank God its over.

just looking through all the old photos. childhood memory is really one of the best things in life that we should cherish. how i wish i can go back to those time again. when my brother always put his arms around me, smiling and posing for the camera. i miss my old maid too. the maid who had been with us for 5 years. life was great then. but i know its gonna be even greater. thank God.

hello brother, i miss those times talking to you. when will you be back to your old self:( i want to help you erase the unhappy memories. i want you to be happy, filled with the joy of the Lord, having the peace of God upon you. i want you back as my brother...

"BE STRONG PEIJUN! BE STRONG"

i feel that im losing my brother to this world. my heart wrecks for hiim. whenever i think aboout him, i cant help but tears just rolled down my eyes. i miss him so much. he used to be so happy go lucky, always entertaining people and making people laugh. but after breaking up, he just changed to a totally different person. i blamed myself for not giving much attention to him. i have not been a good sister. im always going out or studying. i knew he was not right ever since after the break-up but i did nothing. and sometimes, doing nothing is worse than doing wrong thing. it hurts to see him this way. but at least, he has great friends who truly care for him, supporting him. why why why does he have to act like nothing has happened. cant he just let it out. why does he have to keep everything to himself and torture himself. he needs God and i just prayed for him in his room. i cant stop crying. i want my brother back. Lord, please bring him back. only You can give him the love he needs. that girl is a jerk. she is not worthy of him doing and suffering so much for her. i've learnt not to go too deep in a relationship. no matter what happens, i ll still stand by him and pray for him. i kknow that one day, he will share his testimony on stage.

but i know everything's gonna be alright. the peace of God will rest upon me and my household. he will forget everything about that girl. i have faith. he will be back to his old self again soon.

YAY! PROMOS ENDED FOR ME:D HURRAY HURRAY!
but i still have school tmr and stupid pw. but i ll still bring praise no matter what!:D

it has been a long week. and its finally over! i almost couldnt wake up in the morning and thanks daryl for the morning call. but still! i only woke up at 630plus! if its normal school day, i would have been late cos i reached school around 745. qianqian! you're not the only one who needs a vibrating bed to wake you up! i think i need it more! china studies wasnt that good cos i have to admit that i didnt study hard enough. the questions were pretty straightforward and i wish i had studied harder. but well, i managed to crap out something at least! thank God! i've learnt to rely on Him throughout this whole exam seasons(:

mr ng said i did quite good for maths! but i doubt its an A): and there's a high chance of me promoting because we asked and he said two danger zones and not anyone of us. i hope i ll pass for china studies. i need to promote! pw is such a hassle. draft and draft and more drafts. i want an A for pw! and an A for chinese! gotta work hard now. its gonna be easy.

going out for seoul garden with chern jm and hs later. its time to enjoy after so much of studying! :D

i 'love' studying!

Lord I give You my heart
I give You my soul
I live for You alone
Every breath that I take
Every moment I'm awake
Lord have Your way in me

yay! it has been a great weeekend and i enjoy to be back in God's house and serving in it:D after a long week of promos, i felt so refreshed being back in church! ytd's usher was fun! i love seeing the smiles on people's faces after me greeting them. the best was to see many unfamiliar faces! i know we're gonna breakthrough! the south african ambassador came ytd and she's just powerful! and i managed to greet her personally while stationing at the glass door! she said hi to me!! whao!!!:D leadership is humility. Amen to that! i was so impacted by the stories she shared about the great leaders especially nelson mandela! i want to read more about him now! in fact i just read an article on him in Time magazine and i like what he said"Courage is not the absence of fear. its inspiring others to move beyond it"!

today's service was AWESOME cos its about the glory of virginity. im sure everyone was impacted by it cos its really the sermon for us especially when we are still not married. i've learnt so much from pastor and really, thank God im still a virgin and i hear this sermon when im 17:D im proud to be a virgin! hahaha!
Virgnity is ONE THING you can give ONE TIME to ONE PERSON in ONE LIFETIME!
AMEN!

i've got so many things to say but im so lazy to blog it(:
to sum it all out, i love my life and the people around me:D

HAPPY MOONCAKE + LANTERN DAY!

im watching the taiwanese drama ming zhong zhu ding wo ai ni and its such a funny show! that girl dreams alot. feels like me. hahaha! makes me laugh infront of the com screen. feel dumb but its really funny! its time to de stress before i start studying again for china studiesD: cheryl ended her promos alr. rah!!! while some of us only end on wed. AND there's pw on thurs and fri! man. cant they just give us a break?!! not looking forward to it cos jiamin is going to pluck her wisdom tooth on thurs. i ll miss her): HAHAHA.

had history test this afternoon. im not sure if i ll do well cos i just crapped out whatever info i remembered. FOUR essays in THREE hours. its horrible. my hand hurt like mad. wrote non stop for 3 hours. rahh! and i was so confused by the indo pakistan war and arab israeli conflict. remember one and i ll forget another. hai. but im so blessed by jasmine, zhenghui and annlynn! jasmine just told me that they were praying for me during my paper and i was on their mind throughout the 3 hrs. WHAO. im super touched after hearing that. thanks girls:D no wonder i was awake throughout the paper! yay! i know im not alone during this period with such great people in my life, constantly giving me encouragements. :D

maths paper should be one of the better paper alr although i doubt i can get an A): at least the 3 hrs doesnt feel as long as history's 3 hrs. haha. but im happy that i left one paper!:D well. i still have pw and a level chinese. and next year, a level. if i promote. ok. i shall have faith! let Your will be done(:

now all that are in mind now are hezbollah, hamas, PLO, Nasser, Israel, Pakistan, religious fundamentalism. yeah history is exciting except the writing of essays. something scary happened yesterday when i was taking a nap. i was thinking of integrations and differentiation and i cant get them out of my head! its scary cos i confused them with history. finally, i can sleep in peace(: good night!

AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NEED TO BLOG TO RELIEVE STRESS! IM GOING CRAZY SOON!!! SOON!!! VERY SOON!!! ARHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! :O

i feel like screaming!!!!! man. i never felt so stress before. this is so much worse than o level can):):): i tried doing maths but somehow. i just couldnt get the answers. and when i looked at the solutions. its like so simple!!! angpeijun! can you not think too far! i cant stand myself! i want an A for maths but i doubt i can get it. with integrations, maclaurin, 3d area and volume. i can say goodbye to my A. man.. i want to sleep! i need more sleep! i took a nap just now and i couldnt even sleep in peace because all the maths questions were flooding my mind): i woke up and felt that if i continued to sleep for one more minute, i ll retain. the feeling is just horrible. now i understand how stress jc life is.

eight more days and it ll be over...

i cant take it anymore! i hate it when im studying and there're so many thoughts on my mind. i hate to study when im feeling unwell. i hate the feeling of stepping into the exam hall. i hate the feeling of me not knowing the answers to the questions. i hate it when everyone is busy writing yet i cant write out anything. i hate it when all the things i've studied never seem to come out. i hate the feeling of passing up the scripts when i know the things i've written on it are not going to give me marks. i hate it i hate it i hate it!!! how can i be so faithless!!!D: i need more assurance. i really really dont want to retain...

and all i can say, no longer my way, let Your will be done.

oh mannn. i should not have watched stairway to heaven! its affecting my mood to study nowD: such a typical emo korean drama. one episode is enough to make me sad. power lah! hahaha. but seriously.. HAI... what a sad life.. what a beautiful love.. tsktsk.. i wonder if ever i loss my memory, will i forget the person i love. but well i know i will never forget the One i love the most. kwon sang woo said in the show, "love always comes back" yeah. no matter what, He will still find me back:D ok. enough of emo-ing. i ll watch more of these dramas after my promos:D haha.

its such a bad dayD: i think i ll fail gp. seriously. i have never left so many blanks before. and i dozed off halfway during gp paper 2 and econs paper. ARGH! how could i! vitamin c doesnt work for me. maybe chicken essence does. i shall try it on wed. i told my mom im going to fail and somehow, she believed it. off to study soon!D:D:D:

if not for love
if not for grace
all the sins that You've erased
i will always have reasons to praise

no longer will i forfeit grace
i'll follow You and live by faith

You have made a way for us
when You died upon that cross

oh. and thanks to those who have sent me encouragement msges and have shown concern about my promos(:

its one more day to promos and im having a headache now! its those kind of fever headache and i cant fall ill now! definitely not now! just ate vitamin c in the morning and ate apple after dinner. i hope everything will be alrightD: felt so much better after service just now. service was great:D yay! i love history cos its pastor how's favourite too. sir winston churchill is so powerful! the 2 greatest days of our lives is the day when we are born and the day we find out why we are born. amen!

study study. i have been study EVERYDAY during the holiday. the people i studied with thoughout this holiday: zhenghui, valerie, qianqian, yiwen, jasmine, peifen, grace, siew chi, cheryl and jiamin(: yay. we are going to do well for promos okay! we're together in this and we ll conquer it together. haha. the place we studied at: tamp library, church, tamp inter mac and airport. ytd grace, zhenghui, jasmine, peifen and me studied at airport together(: and carlo, choongkai and nicholas joined us too. it wasnt productive lah. but the time spent was worth it:D i think after promos, i ll miss those mugging period. HAHA! but there're so many things i want to do after promos! SO MANY THINGS!!!:D yay. its gonna be over soon. hopefully i ll do well. i donwan to just promote but i want to do well and be a good testimony for God.

just ytd, i was just thinking. i have been studying so much outside and im out everyday. thus, i didnt really spend time with family. but God just reminded me the importance of placing family above my studies. dont take them for granted and most importantly, dont take God for granted. yes i am busy and stress but studying is not all to life. i cannot be stuck in my own studying world and neglect the things that are happening around me or missed out on things and time spend with our love ones. so ytd when at airport, i just felt so strongly that the Holy Spirit is speaking to me to sms my dad cos he was working night shift and i wasnt at home to say bye to him. it just not me to send sweet sms. haha. i was afraid he would think that i wanted to commit suicide cos i msged him bye. but he replied good night and dont sleep late. so sweet... hahaha. so to all the people studying very hard! spend time with your parents and spend time with God! its definitely worth the few hours or even minutes. dont study out till too late outside or lock yourself in the room whole day. talk to your parents and have some quiet time with God:D

aint no giant gonna walk on my land!

STUDYING
):

this is worse than O levels):):):

but smile!(: cos God is with me and He is all i need:D
He is with you too:D

HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY MR NG

i dont think you ll see this anyway. haha.

im using my new laptop to blog now! whoohoo. and im using my msn on another desktop.

stayed in the lib from 10 to 6 just now with zhenghui. quite quite productive. i hate econs and suddenly, i felt like i cant do maths anymore):): i hate this kind of feeling. but i know nothing is iimpossible! im gonna conquer my promos like never before!:D

went to IT fair with my family ytd and it was crowded. we had to sqeeuzed our way through. hai. then we went to eat at this restaurant call just noodle and its super nice! its near the fountain area:D there were free flow drinks and free scoops of icecream!!!YUMYUM. i ll definitely go back there again:D:D:D

Going back to prss is just awesome. many memoriess in the old school(: miss ang is still the same. FUNNY:Dwell, i just feel like im still a part of prss. hahaha, yes part of this prss revival!:D

now, im going to watch the last episode of 9 clock show, do my china studies assignment and study abit and sleep. plan my life!

i cant wait for Nick Vujicic to come HoGc! lets have a date on 4th and 5th november! see you!

Every step i take You will lead me
With You i ll walk the raging seas
You're my strength when i am weary
You give me reasons to believe:D

AND I SERIOUSLY MISS A1!!!! was just watching their old videos. all the old nice songs. i dontknow where are they now): i just miss the 90s so sosososo much!!!