Tuesday, January 26, 2010

today i was told that what comes quickly would also go away fast. i just had to agree. i was also told that friendships are built over time. you can't be good friends straight away. it takes time for trust to build up. i love having hearty conversations with people. those without pressure. those that i dont have to think about what to speak about next. those that i have a natural connection with. those that have absolute no awkwardness. phonecalls are good. face to face conversations are the best. as for virtual conversations, they are the worst.

- quoted from jm's blog :)

Monday, January 25, 2010

One thing that I desire in my life Lord
To thirst and hunger after You alone
With all my heart and soul
With all my strength and love
To worship as Your glory fills this place

Deeper in love with You
Deeper in love with You
I love You more than anything in life
Deeper in love with You
Deeper in love with You
Oh how I love You Lord



He spoke and i heard.
To put Him first above everything else.
What I've lost, He will give me something even better if i choose to believe and trust in Him.
No matter what happens, He is still God, my God :)
My prayer is that He will place a desire in them to know Him even more and to draw even closer to Him :)

我的快樂 會回來的

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

WHY DO PEOPLE CHANGE SO EASILY! D:

i really hate to see people change so fast and so easily. but everyone is changing. you, you and you. maybe i am changing too. just had a long talk with zhilin and finally, i found someone whom shares the same thought as me. we are all growing up and our mindsets tend to change. i dont think i am the old innocent peijun living in her own bubble world anymore. i feel so irritated easily nowadays and just cannot stand how some people are behaving. but, this is so not peijun. oh dear.. i dont know what i want anymore and i dont know what makes me happy anymore... i used to be the optimistic and cheerful girl but i tend to think much lately. my visions seemed so blurred lately. But i know that no matter what, i stil have God and i'll cling on to Him. No mattter what, i still want to walk closer to Him.

dear God, i pray that You'll change my heart and my mind.

This is probably the most real post i've ever blogged and i hope nobody reads it. i know this is so not me :( just give me a few days or weeks, i ll make a decision to be optimistic again :D

Monday, January 11, 2010

2009 is finally gone! I dont know why i am blogging and i dont think anyone even reads this anymore but, i shall blog for my own sake. who knows, i might lose my memory one day and having a blog reminds me of what i did in the past :)

2009. what a year. it started off well but everything just went wrong towards the middle of the year. Studies, family, friendship, relationship, school, spiritual walk with God.. Nothing just falls in place. I thought it would be a good year but apparently, i was proven wrong. Many distractions came and i think that was part of my growing up stage. I hated those times. Thinking about it, i really hated those times with those bad thoughts i had. I hated when the closest people around me changed and knowing that i have to accept it. I kept questioning why to people and to God but i learnt to stop asking. I lost faith in the power of connection and closeness. I hated those moments when my heart sank due to disappointment and discouragement. Yet, it was the time i really grew and mature. People come and go in my life. I began to understand what is trust all about. If trust could be lost so easily, i would rather not trust anymore. If closeness is only temporary, i would rather not be close to anyone ever again. Slowly, A level drew nearer and it took my attention away for awhile. It sucks up my entire world. I wanted to do well, i wanted to glorify God and i wanted to impress people. I wanted to show people that tpjcians can do well. I think i tried my best till the last moment. The only regret was that i know i could have been more disciplined in the start of the year. Yet, there was no regret because i treasured those times. A levels ended and i was free. However, things did not go well as i expected. I wasnt as happy or excited as many have expected. There was this emotion in me that i still cant figure out what exactly it is. But, i cant deny that my life was still full of excitement. Shopping, travelling, movie, hanging out with people and everything that i always wanted to do before A levels. I could finally do all of that! :) and 2009 came to an end. Phew. what a year. I hated 2009 yet i loved it. It was indeed a year of preparation. God brought me to another level. I understood more things. 2010 will be a great year. God promised me in 2008 and i kept looking forward to 2010. Finally, its here. :) 2010 did not start off well, but i know God's promises never fail.

1 Corinthians 13:11
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.

This year has been a busy year since the start. Breakthrough camp and with 3 jobs on my hands now. But im beginning to embrace this year with hope and faith, knowing that i am going to breakthrough in every area. I let go and put aside the past. Its going to be a different peijun this year. I want to be even closer to Him, build my spiritual life, bring my family to salvation, love people even more and grow in leadership. Its just going to be about God this entire year. I dont want to follow Him at a distance but to grow in intimacy with Him. No matter what my results will be this march, i will look onto Him and set my eyes upon Him. I made a decision last weekend and shared with weiyin :) This year shall be the best year ever in my whole life. If you think you want to destroy my life this year, dont even think about it :) I will love even more this year, and guard my heart even more this year :)

Its just the beginning of a great amazing year ahead. :)

 
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