Wednesday, August 26, 2009

OH MAN!:( i hate what i am feeling now. The kind of sianess, knowing that prelims is in... 6 days time. Its so crazy :( RAH. i shall take control over my emotions for now. Whatever im feeling now, i ll give thanks to Him. I thank God for friends around me. haha. Seeing how the people in my life always bring laughter to me and always being there for me is just sweet enough. After going through so much, i made a decision never to take people for granted. When you start to open your eyes and see the bigger picture, you ll realise that actually there are many people, whom you seldom notice, who care and value you more than those you thought who does. I begin to understand what it means to say that our actions speak louder than our words. Sometimes, we're just too stuck in our own world. But its time to step out of it, and enjoy every second of my life. Now, i need to lift the value of some people in my life, and lower the value of the other few in my life who dont deserve it. hahaha. i can't believe im even feeling this way now. Perhaps, God is really testing me. No matter how much i try to avoid these thoughts.. Oh man. Peijun.. God is in still in control:) my thoughts are so disoriented now... so much i want to let out but words can never express it man. :( i need to be introduced to more bombastic words.

My birthday has passed and im officially 18 years and 2 days old now. D: SO OLD. haha. But im really touched by all the smses.. I love reading those long smses and the many cards i received. Its really sweet.. :) knowing how much others value you and giving thank to God for appearing in their lives. haha. It makes me want to do even more for people and lead a significant life.. :) Jessica is just so sweet. I once went out with her and told her i like a metal hairband with heart-shaped design. And she actually bought it! And jasmine said she bought it long ago.. haha. How can you not be touched man.. haha. I also finally know what jessica koh's secret mission is already. Haha. Its so amazing that ive only known her for a month and she actually did much for my birthday and the messages she sent just brightened my day :) Oh, and thanks jiamin, cheryl and huishi for the 18 boxes -.- haha. I am 'surprised'. You girls made me carry the huge bag of boxes everywhere and made me opened all the 18 boxes and to find that only one contains all the many different gifts! The rest of the boxes contain notes -.- You girls are the best man... haha. But still, thanks for the effort and spending 3 hrs wrapping the boxes and the 3G call at 12am. haha. :) And, jieru and the cuddle group leaders called and sang birthday song at midnight too. Haha. I was lol-ing throughout and they couldnt even sing a proper whole song! hahaha! Its really very funny. haha. And everyone started calling me cinderella -.- I just realised its everywhere, in blogs, in twitter, in smses..... :s Since when did i officially name myself cinderella! haha. So nonsense. And finally, i must say that nicholas's gift is the most meaningful one ever man.. hahaha. Even Valerie said she didnt know what to get for me anymore after seeing his gift. Haha. The best expression that describes what i felt when i saw it was.. O.O Hahaha! And, can i say that im really touched that the prayer group people in school actually even wished me even though i only attended twice of the meetings this year.. :s haha. And really have to thank daryl ooi who i dont even see anymore now. For the message in the card.. its nice reading it. haha. My brother even called from Thailand to wish me on my birthday:) Its nice that he even remembers it. And to all my pri school friends who smsed me! haha. Thats the best part. After like so long of not meeting up. Weiwei sent a sweet msg too :) Thanks so much everyone :) I'll make full use of all the gifts. hahaha.

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen..

Saturday, August 08, 2009

my favourite people in school :)


























eloise is asking me to go her house for stayover now!!! at such a good timing! haha. speaking of that, val, nic and hr almost wanted to come my hse for supper and then stay! but, something happened. haha. well. there'll be another time :) after my A's! HAHA. but met val for supper just now. just had a nice chat and stuff. after like few days of not meeting up. haha. i was on the bus back home and i realised that the people on the bus were all kind of weird... :s


Before the supper, i met up huishi and we went ion together! haha. it was my first time there and that place is HUGE. that we couldnt even find where the toilet is. I didnt really like the crowd though. Singaporeans are really free.. haha. It has been a long time since i last travelled beyond paya lebar mrt station. And, im serious! haha. im either at school or in church. And of cos, home :) haha. My brother would call me a mountain turtle. Anyway, we bought a skirt! haha. We saw many things we like but didnt buy them in the end. After awhile, jiamin joined us:) Talked about the lunch which i missed in the afternoon due to my econs tutor who has superrr tight schedule. -.- He was like nagging at me non-stop after i told him that i was going ion after tuition. haha. It was nice hanging out with the girls, and cheryl, where are you!!! sigh. there'll be a next time that the 4 of us can just hang out together! Definitely after our A's is over. We need a break!

School was stupid. the j1s had celebration while the j2s had normal lessons after 9am. SIGH. I had mc for past two days and it wasnt that bad to go to school again. At least, i can see the people whom i enjoy hanging out with :) But, it was quite a bad day today, according to jiamin. haha. But i guess the day turned great when she realised derek is fine with her postponing her tuition slot. haha. Mr ng is the funniest and slackest teacher i've ever met. Which teacher on earth will take stupid qigong pictures with his student. He's just bored of teaching i guess. haha. But it was really quite funny. Yes, school isnt that bad afterall! Its just the studying part which is BAD.

I cant wait for this weekend to come! In fact, it is already here. haha. Thing are going to be great. I need more faith! i really do.. haha.

I just really love my life, love what i am doing. All that has past has past. It'll all be left with memories but things will not be the same again. Now is the time to look forward and anticipate a greater future. I want to do great things for God and be a history maker! This revival will not stop! I hold the vision He gave in my heart. This revival will not stop even during the A's period. More people will come. The harvest is plentiful. It truly is plentiful.. :) Think bigger!

On that day when I see
All that You have for me
When I see You face to face
There surrounded by Your grace
All my fears swept away
In the light of Your embrace
Where Your love is all I need
And forever I am free


Where the streets are made of gold
In Your presence healed and whole
Let the songs of heaven
Rise to You alone


In this life I will stand
Through my joy and my pain
Knowing there's a greater day
There's a hope that never fails

Where Your Name is lifted high
And forever praises rise
For the glory of Your Name
I'm believing for the day

Where the wars and violence cease
All creation lives in peace
Let the songs of heaven

No weeping no hurt or pain
No suffering You hold me now
You hold me now
No darkness no sick or lame
No hiding You hold me now
You hold me now

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Peijun cannot fall sick! No she cant! Oh man, i really cant afford to fall sick at this moment. Its not good to miss lessons afterall. AHH. NOO! i cant fall sick now! at least not until A levels end :( Speaking of that, it reminded me that i've less than 100 days left :(

Just watched 'fated to love you' on channel u and kind of miss that show! i watched it after Promos last year. haha. Miss those time when i just dont have to worry about exams. arhh.. soon soon... just a little more. Im gonna conquer that huge mountain.

But first, I got to take out huge elephants in my head. So many things recently. And i find myself being distracted constantly. When i tried to study, thoughts start crowding in my head. I hate this kind of feeling. Why is it so hard to get them out. I made a decision to stop thinking but yet, i failed. I need to study! This year is indeed not a smooth year and i know God is moulding me, building me to be a stronger person. It seems like everyone is facing problems in the area of relationships recently. Or should i just say, problem with people. haha. I've come to realise that everyone has a story to tell about their life. You will never be able to understand someone deeply because even we cant understand ourselves fully. I've come to realise that closeness is not based on how much smses or calls you made with another person but is based on the quality time you spend with him. How can you even tell what this person is thinking just by looking at the screen of your handphone or computer. Was that even closeness to begin with. I still cant figure that out. Yet, i believe there was something special about it. Something that God has planned beforehand so we can all grow. I hate pretense. I really hate it.. I pray that God will bring me back the simplicity in me, just like how i was as i read through my old blog posts. People around me will NOT change me. I've learnt it the hard way that people do change. haha. even the closest people change so quickly that you are unable to tell which of them is real. Its disappointing yet frustrating. But, they can change all they want, i will not. Others can, i cannot. At the end of the day, i know, i will not compromise my destiny for anything. Seeing how people are living their lives placed a burden in me sometimes. God, take control of every area in my life because only You know which is the path i should take.

FOP on friday was just fabulous. Pastors and HoGc videos are the BEST. I'm just so proud to be part of this wonderful church. Youths under 22 can do such a great stop-motion video. Only in HoGc can you find such a commited bunch of youths who will go the extra mile just to make things happen and bring glory to God! Truly, at the end of the day, its not about bringing us famous, but giving God all the glory. Jesus increase, i decrease :)


powerful video with a powerful message :D

Looking at the amount of tissues im using, I shall not go school tomorrow :( But, its not a rest day... I will try to study D:

 
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